Hide and Seek

1 Samuel 23:14
David stayed in the wilderness strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.

Psalm 5:12
Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Psalm 9:9
The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Psalm 31:20
In the shelter of your presence you hide them from all human intrigues; you keep them safe in your dwelling from accusing tongues.

Psalm 91:1
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 119:114
You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

Psalm 121:7
The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;

I was thinking about something I said to somebody the other day that wasn't true.   What I said and what I meant didn't line up and it really bothered me.  It shouldn't have, the person knew what I meant even though it didn't come out right, but it caused me to start asking God questions about my confidence.  The statement that I made was regarding comfort, go figure.  How many of us are really comfortable in the area of our confidence?  I know that I struggle with it especially in seasons of waiting.  I have a tendency to get agitated and distracted.  In thinking along these lines the Lord reminded me of the role of the one hiding in the timeless game we all used to play called hide and seek.

Ready, set, go! 1..2..3..4.. Once the counting begins, your off to find the very best place possible.  The sweet spot always took more consideration, more maneuvering, and was probably uncomfortable to get into.  If you gave up because you knew that time was running out and your seeker was coming, more than likely you had to settle for something a little more obvious and you were probably one of the first to be found.  How much of life is like trying to find the just the right place to hide? To get something of good quality it usually costs you something, sometimes a lot, or maybe everything, depending on how bad you want it and what you're willing to do for it. 

The Lord impressed this question on my heart, "What does it mean to be hidden in Christ?."  After a few minutes of reciting verses in my head and pondering what I thought they meant, I really didn't have a solid answer. I never gave much thought to that question? Why would I? I just always assumed that because I love God and He loves me that I am hidden away in Him, safe from the one who prowls around like a roaring lion.  For the most part I am vigilant and alert, sober of mind, but what about those  moments when I slip and give the seeker clues to my hiding place? From that one question, all these others started to sprout up and I realized I had no clue what it mean to hide in Christ. Just then, the Lord quickened a memory from my childhood.

The best place I ever found to hide, that I can remember, was in the formal dining room at my parent's house.  We had these awesome padded chairs that were huge and there were six of them.  My mom always kept the table with a beautiful cloth that was long enough to hide me as I stretched my little body out on the pads and waited for my sister to find me.  I can remember thinking that the spot I had found was quite possibly my new favorite place to hang out and the cats thought so too!  It  seemed safe, comfortable, quiet, and it took Kellie a long time to find me the first time I hid there.  I believe the Lord was giving me a picture of what it looks like to be hidden in Him.  Once you find where it is you are supposed to be, if you have confidence in the One who is hiding you, it is a very pleasant place to be.

Being hidden in Christ is more than just saying, "I am hidden in Christ."  Hiding is an art! What lengths do we go to to hide Christmas presents from our kids or conceal a surprise birthday party?  Any slip ups we make could give us away so we have to be extra careful in all we say and do.  The same is true when hiding in Christ.  I was thinking about why we hide in Christ?  Obviously there would be no need to hide if it weren't for the one seeking to destroy us right?  Wouldn't that make it all the more important to be careful in all we say and do when we are trying to hide ourselves away in Him?  How much more important are we than a stack of Christmas gifts to the Lord?

I started thinking about comfort and confidence again.  When I was hiding on the padded chairs, I was comfortable and therefore confident in my ability to stay hidden from my sister for a long time, but getting into just the right position was tricky.  I almost always bumped my head on the table and the cats always took off running when they saw me coming, which could have given me away instantly.  It was an epic spot but it took some maneuvering to get into.  There were always kinks to work through before reaching the place of comfort and confidence.  It was never easy at first, discomfort always came before the confidence.

"I understand all that, Lord, I remember the game but where are you going with all of this?" I said.  Then it hit me!  The Lord has called me into a secret hiding place with Him and I've found a great spot to hide!  This is not any ordinary hiding place at all! All of the discomfort I've been experiencing is just me trying to maneuver my way into this amazing place without being found by the enemy.  God has been helping me, guiding me, teaching me, and protecting me, with every move I make because He wants me to be in this place too.  Getting here has cost me quite a lot so it is with due diligence that every move I make from now on is with greater purpose than ever before.  I have experienced so much relief and freedom with the release of everything that was trying to come with me.  Like a camel trying to fit through the eye of a needle, only a supernatural act of God could make it possible.

I have learned so much about strategy through this last season, which is what I've been asking for  since the beginning of the year along with getting rid of any false hope I held.  These lessons haven't come easy, in fact, there were times that I wanted to give up and just walk away from God. It's important to remember that a life consecrated to God means allowing Him to renew and transform even the deepest, darkest part of the heart. It's painful and costs a lot but it is so worth the glory that we bring His name when we submit and allow Him to teach us.

It's all in the book.  None of this is new news.  I joke around with my husband sometimes saying that I'm always the last to know but really, it's all part of the growth process.  The keys that I have now will help me throughout every battle that I'm bound to face for the rest of my life.  I'd like to share them in the hope that something here might speak to someone reading.  Remember, when I talk about hiding in Christ, I use the picture of the game hide and seek. There would be no need to hide if the enemy wasn't seeking to destroy you. It's also important to state that the enemy is not the people around you, the enemy is satan.  He uses people, but those people aren't really our enemies. I pray that God will give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation into the knowledge of Him that He might enlighten the eyes of your understanding and that His truth would rest in your heart.

When you purpose yourself to hide in Christ be careful with your words. Use of the wrong ones could attract the enemy.  Gossip and slander will come back to bite you, I guarantee it so guard your mouth.  The power of life and death is in the tongue so speak blessings when arrows come your way, it will confuse the enemy and the arrows will never find you. Forgiveness is the key, it is our covering, our protection.  The blood of Jesus covers a multitude of sins, not just our own, but those of our enemies as well. We all get hit by arrows from time to time but the idea is to not make a big fuss about it when you do.  The seeker will do whatever he can to try and get clues to where you are.  He knows your weak spots and is going to try to get you to make some noise.  If you keep silent and forgive, you can continue working your way into that sweet spot of yours without him ever knowing you were even hit.  Easier said than done, I know, some of those arrows really hurt but remember how good it is living in the truth of God's word and not being a victim of the enemy.  Use discernment when it comes to encouragement from others.  I know that sounds bad but the bible says to trust no man, only God.  Hiding is strategic.  If God has called you into a place for a season so that He can fight a battle for you, let Him do it without you getting distracted by what may or may not be gossip.  Just be careful and on purpose about the moves you make and the words you choose.  Finally, if you get stuck because of  unforgiveness or pride and need time to process it out, that's OK.  God will honor you for taking the time to do things the right way.  He doesn't want those things coming with you anyway so don't feel like you need to rush.

  Finding out what is getting you stuck in the first place is a good thing because it will help you to avoid running into the same problem over and over again.  It isn't always pretty, in fact, it might look really ugly but it is perhaps the most important part of the healing process.  Once you get over those hurdles and settle down into the place God has carved out for you, you'll never want to leave and you never have to! Confidence and comfort go hand in hand but if you aren't there yet it's probably because there is something God is wanting you to leave behind.  Although you may be uncomfortable in the maneuvering process, you can have confidence that God will see you through it and get you to the place that He has prepared for you.  In that, we can find rest.
  

Weakness

When it comes to admitting areas of weakness in my life it can be difficult because I try so hard to be strong in those areas.  One of my biggest weaknesses is that I don't like to do things by myself.  It is much more easy to have someone there to tell me what I should believe, how I should live, and how I should think, than it is for me to try and figure it out on my own.   I've made so many bad choices in my life, thinking they were the right ones, that I developed this image of myself as hopeless and helpless without someone there to tell me what to do.  I've trusted with my whole heart that the people in authority in my life have had all the answers and somehow knew better than anyone how to solve the conflicts of my life.  The bigger conflict constantly surrounding me has always been the same, where will I pledge my allegiance?  Will I pledge to man or will I pledge to God?  It always comes back around to the same place and the minute I turn my heart in complete surrender to the One who knows my innermost parts, the war begins and the devil rages.

The problem is not the devil.  It's not even the battle.  The issue lies within my own belief about who I am.  There are all kinds of things I could blame right now, that would make sense about how I came to be this way, but I don't want to do that.  This very moment, I know that my soul has been bought by the highest bidder.  Jesus Christ Himself bought and paid for me with His own blood and I know that makes me pretty special.  I would like to say that I understand the cost but in reality, if I did, I would see myself in a way different light.  I do not understand God's love.  I wish I could say I did, I wish I could say I had it and had enough to give to anyone who needed it.  I get forgiveness,  and then maybe, God will give me love for those I've forgiven.  More than anything, I want just a glimpse of what it would be like to love the ones that have hurt me in the worst way, with the kind of love that would cause me to give up my entire life just to save theirs.  For now I get to forgive and then I get to pray.

Whenever I get hurt, either by my own sin, or someone else's,  the first thing I always do is blame myself.  That's a tactic of the enemy to try and wear me down.  If he can get me to see myself the way he wants me to, eventually I will lay down my weapons.  Bitterness, resentment, shame, feelings of rejection and self hatred, all of these thoughts start moving through my mind like a nasty windstorm that wants to destroy anything and everything that stands for good.  The battlefield truly is in the mind.  What I have to do is stay focused on the only One who is able to calm the storm but I tend to panic.  I'm like my brother Peter that way, as soon as I take my eyes off of Jesus and start listening to the doubt in my mind, I start sinking and once I sink, I panic even more.

I said before that I don't like to do things by myself, that is one of my biggest weaknesses.  I know that I'm never really alone but during the times when I've sunk into the murky waters of my own mind, I need something tangible I can hold onto.  I think most of us are that way, who really wants to go through life alone?  God has given us to each other also to be of support to one another, to help each other up when we get knocked down during the trials of life.  There's more to it than that though.  We can't leave God out.  We can't not give God the credit when we pull through.  We can't ignore the fact that God Himself allows the storms to happen in order to manifest His glory through His son.  What if we get so wrapped up in where our help is going to come from that we forget that help is already here?

God's love is so much greater than any of us could ever fathom.  Right now, we all get to cash in on a little piece of it called forgiveness.  I say that only because I know there is so much more to it than that.  What was it like to knit me together and place me in my mother's womb knowing some of the things I would have to face?  What kind of compassion is that of a God who sees His children hurting all over the world because they are hungry at night and there's no one there to feed them or comfort them? What kind of joy does the God of the universe experience when a prisoner on death row accept the blood of His son as payment for his sin? I want to know this love, more than anything.

If God makes Himself strong where we are weak then I suppose the more I confess my weaknesses, the better off I'll be.  What I've learned through the process in this particular area is that when it really comes down to it, God Himself wants to be the calmer of my storm.  It's not really my storm after all.  He bought me, therefore all that I am belongs to Him.  There is a warning in the passage of scripture that says to put no trust in man but in God alone.  I believe that is because God is jealous for our affection.  He covets our trust.  If we go depending too much on sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, doctors, lawyers, teachers, pastors, or any other authority, they will eventually let us down.  God allows that to happen so that He can come through and show Himself mighty to save.  Where I am weak, He is strong.  When I'm afraid to be alone and I'm standing in the middle of the battlefield with my weapons tightly secured, focused on Him, those words lose their power and my God wins for me, His beloved bride. With that kind of ending, why even try to be strong :).