The first time I'd ever even heard of homeschooling was a few years back. A friend of my oldest daughter was taken out of school in the sixth grade to be home schooled. I remember feeling kinda bummed because this was one of the kids that I actually really liked. I didn't know anything about home school nor did I ever considered it myself until I met a couple in my church that home schooled their three grandchildren. These people became very dear to me as we became a part of the same vision for the church and I really enjoyed listening to their stories. They had come through a lot, literally, against all odds and I found them very inspiring. I was very blessed by them and sad when they moved on to Kansas City. They talked to me about homeschooling my girls but it wasn't what I wanted to be doing...at least it wasn't yet.
I grew up in public school just like everybody else and truthfully, by the time my kids were old enough to attend, I was thrilled to be able to send them off. My Grandmother used to say "Public school is a wonderful institution, for Children and Mothers." I couldn't agree more. I loved the idea of having my "own" time to catch up on housework or whatever else I wanted to do. My husband and I made the decision in the beginning that I would be a stay at home mother until all our kids were in school full time. That was our plan. After going through treatment for alcoholism we decided it might be best to wait a year so I could focus time on myself for once. The first year all three were in school at the same time was the last and I did whatever I wanted. Most days I would sit and listen to the IHOP prayer room web stream all day long. You might think of that as being a waste of time but it was during those days that I really developed a relationship with the Lord. I was literally spending hours a day in prayer. It was great! I learned so much about God during that time. I was a little grieved when I found out I had to give that up among other things.
My oldest daughter, who was in the seventh grade at the time, started having the issues we all did in adolescence. There were many hostile moments between the two of us most of which were rooted in rejection. In attempt to help her find positive influence, we started attending youth group meetings. She didn't want anything to do with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit or anybody who knew anything about them, including me. However, she did get along with some of the kids from the church so it didn't seem like such a loss for her to attend. I would stay and sit in the back, listen, try and make myself invisible, but mostly I would pray for her. I wanted so desperately for her to be touched by God the way He'd touched me. I was sick that our relationship was wrecked and that I had done it and couldn't get back the years I should have spent with her instead of being drunk. The years between ten and twelve when girls go through that massive change and I missed it with her. It was devastating. My other two were flourishing but she was deeply hurt by my betrayal. My only hope was in God and He came through! Boy did He come through.
To be continued
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